1. Remove wheel from bike. Let air out of tire, and set wheel on bench. Use standard tire irons to pry one edge of tire over the lip of the rim.
2. Retrieve wheel from floor and tire iron from other side of shop. Break bead of tire from rim and repeat process.
3. Retrieve tire iron from behind roll-away tool chest. Set wheel on floor for better leverage. Walk on tire to break bead from rim, and use tire irons to pry one edge of tire over the lip of the rim.
4. Apply pressure to slow the bleeding from cut knuckles. Try to stick band-aids to bloody knuckles. Retrieve tire iron again and turn wheel over so that sprocket is toward floor. Use tire irons to pry one edge of tire over the lip of the rim.
5. Retrieve tire iron from behind bench. Call neighbor over to hold wheel down as you pry bead of tire from rim.
6. Weld pairs of standard tire irons together to make them longer, and have neighbor stand on wheel as you pry bead of tire from rim.
7. Remove inner tube from tire. Have neighbor stand on wheel as the two of you pull the tire off the rim.
8. Apologize to neighbor and help him to his feet. Give neighbor a beer and thank him for helping.
9. Apply dish soap to bead of new tire. Have neighbor stand on tire as you pry bead over edge of rim.
10. Apply pressure to gash in neighbor?s shin. Bandage neighbor?s shin. Give neighbor another beer.
11. Insert inner tube into tire, and pry second bead over edge of rim.
12. Remove second bead of tire from rim, and insert rim-lock. Pry bead of tire back over edge of rim. Inflate tire.
13. Use tire irons to pry bead of tire from rim. Remove inner tube and patch holes from tire irons. Re-insert tube into tire, carefully pry bead back onto rim, and inflate tire.
14. Remove inner tube again, and insert new, heavy-duty inner tube. Pry bead back onto rim, and inflate tire.
15. Retrieve wheel from front yard, carefully replacing divots in lawn. Pray that wife didn?t see the wheel land there.
16. Place wheel in car and take it to local bike shop to have tube replaced by someone else.
17. Re-install wheel on bike.
Mission accomplished!
