Stupidest things you've heard...

[QuantumDuck]

I was wondering how many of you out there have stories from people who make claims for something that you know could not be true...working in a motorcycle shop I have several, but I recently heard one that has prompted me to write about...but I will start with 2 cases in point...

1. A guy came into my shop with an early 90's FZR600, at the time I owned a '94 ZX9R...so he comes and is checkin out my 9, looks at the speedometer and says,"I bet this thing will do every bit of the 200 mph on that speedo.", to which I replied..."Nah, it tops out at about an indicated 160."...His reply?..."No way...I've had my FZR to 170 your 9 HAS to be faster than my 600."...keep in mind not only was his 600 completly stock, but it was ragged out, rode hard and put away wet...the kicker to this guy was, he said he was having and electrical problem that another shop had diagnosed for him and told him (and this is a direct quote)..."uh..I can't remember what it's called...it's a...a...a flux something or other."...with my back turned to him I said.."The flux capacitor?"...and he said,"Yeah...yeah...thats it...the flux capacitor...can you get me one for my bike?"...I'll go ahead and end this one here...

2. I met a guy who seemed kind of knowledgeable about bikes so I was tellinng him about my KX project...I told him the bike had been set up for woods riding and needed a gear change because it only topped out at about 85 mph....he looked genuinely shocked that my KX500 would top out at such a low number...he then tells me about his mid 80's RM250 that would top out at  "WELL over 130 mph"...not believing him at all I asked what all he has done to it...all his mods amounted to...a pipe and air filter...wow, I think maybe we should all be riding Suzuki 250's instead of KX5's...

If anyone has any reason I should believe either of these two guys..please let me know...if not what are some tales you have come across?...Meanwhile...I'll be on Ebay lookin for a mid 80's RM250

[Paul]

FLUX CAPACITOR HAHAHAHAHA nothing like a little back to the future

Its the yellow man, I heard that if you put yellow plastic on a KX500 it'll topout faster than a Ferrari Testarosa .

I over heard my unkle telling a guy the reason his car was so fast was because of the hubcaps - he had those solid moon dish thingies like in the movie Cobra. I figured the guy know he was being b/s'd until I saw him with the exact same hubcaps

I love all those stories, it;s amazing what people will try to get you to believe.

[badly]

One of the managers at the brewary i work who was not well liked was in a big panick there was sand loged in the jetter pump due to a backwash problem on our carbon filters, how can we have to prevent this from happening again he says, who's fault is this he yells to the meckanic, the meckanic calmly replys that the contracter who installed the pipe forgot to put in the sand magnets and this was why we were having all this trouble, Needles to say our fearless leader wrote up a large report on how the sand magnets were left out of the pipe and forwarded it to all the bosses,

one of those kind of funny because he was such a prick moments

[HULKSTER]

The stupidest thing I ever heard is that the SC police won't be looking into my case for a few more weeks. Then they will be haulin' that bastard in. I can't wait. They better d**n well be....

[rhinogrrrl]

...yeah, HULKSTER, what is the update on that? Did you make any headway with recovering the $$$ you paid for it?

[mikesmith]

You know sometimes I wonder about Law Enforcement,I know a MX bike may not be top priority but I went to the lake with my dog to throw sticks and found a sawed-off shotgun with a pistol grip,just starting to get a little rust on it,wrapped in a floor matt and tied up in a trash bag(the lake was being lowered for winter).It was almost dark and I didnt have a cell phone,I already touched it because I didnt know what was in the bag when I found it so instead of leaving it there I took it to the Police station.I waited 15 to 20 minutes just to find a person to show up at the front desk,then they tell me they dont want it because it was out of city limits.The Sheriff station had moved and I wasnt sure were it was and asked if they would just take it over,no they wouldnt they told me to do it.Before I went to the lake I had gone riding and was still wearing oarnge Shift riding gear,so now Im at the sheriffs office around 7:30pm walking all through the building in my riding gear with mud on it and cant find anyone in the building untill I get to a hall way and at the end is an office with a window and no door,a lady is typing,looks at me then looks away like she never saw me and wont answer my hellow.So Im ready to forget all this when a door opens on the way out and a lady who works for the DA was headed home and I tell her the story.After a few phone calls Im telling a investagater the story,he starts off to my truck after I told him where I parked but goes the wrong direction,then ask were the dam for the lake is located when I told him I had found it there.This made me wonder what kind of idiot this guy was,cant follow directions and doesnt know the area(like were a national lake is in are town)then after he takes the gun he tells me I could go to prison for having the gun in my possesion,after that I told him that for all the BS it took to try and do what I thought was right I was ready to throw the thing back in the lake and forget it.I felt it was better than leaving it for some kid to find and he doesnt even know where the lake is and cant follow directions,even if I drew him a map of where to find it itd probally still be laying there.So I have to say I have little faith in our local law enforcement and hope I never have to count on them for help.So good luck Hulkster.

[teamgreen500]

Hey Mike,

Watch! That gun will turn out to be involved in the missing woman case!

Note to everyone-else: Here, in Redding, we're "Missing" a woman in her early 20s. The Redding Police Department, Shasta County SO and Cali. Hi-Way Patrol AND FBI have ALL(!) been spending plenty of time and resources on finding her (Or, sadly, her body...). So, you can see why this kinda ignorance is REALLY offensive.

BTW, the Dam in question isn't SHASTA(!)? Is it? If it is...the D.A.'s office has serious problems.

Manny

[mikesmith]

No this was three years ago at Whiskey Town,but the guy must have wanted it to be at Shasta because he kept refering to Shasta after numerous times I had told him Whiskey Town.He also told me nothing would probally come of it,that kind of made me wonder if the gun just got thrown in storage somwhere and forgotten about.And this is the second time we've had a young lady disappear in our town and from the way it was handled they did to little in the begining,the most crucial time to act.But to give them credit I wouldnt want there job.