I've followed this thread Foxx, you've been in my thoughts. I lost my Dad in 1994 under circumstances that were medically, at that time, preventable, then a year ago same thing happened to my Father-in-law. It is so frustrating and painful knowing it could be prevented. So your post touched a raw nerve for me. I'm sure you know what works for you, but being busy as possible was the best help for me, the thoughts flood in anyway, and nothing to do was the worst for me. I see here many people are in your corner, God bless.